Recent viral footage of a US food courier successfully evading not 1, not 2, but 10 paranoid goons on the streets of Chicago has lead to him qualifying for the Syndicalist Olympics.
A statement from the International Syndicalist Olympics Committee said, ‘We cannot name our fellow worker for obvious reasons, but we are sure we speak for syndicalists everywhere when we say we found his performance outstanding. He is a credit to our class.’
The scorecard for the evasion was reportedly flawless–a first in the history of the ISOC. A committee member who asked to remain anonymous said, ‘No one had the heart to dock any points after that champion effort.’
US Homeland Secretary Kristi Noem was unavailable for comment.
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